The most Fatal disease
You may have heard of cancer, diabetes, mental disorders, and many other diseases that are considered to be very dangerous and fatal for our life.
But these diseases can be cured or at least their impact can be reduced by some medication and care. Moreover, they are at least detectable and known to the word. We are aware of them and know where to go and whom to consult if we are affected by any of them.
But the disease that I am going to talk about in this post is the disease that each and every one of us is affected by it.
The irony is that we don’t even know that we are affected or having this disease and thus we never try to cure it.
This fatal disease is seeded into us by society and our social surroundings and this is a heritage that is being surpassed to us.
We didn’t have a choice if or not we want this heritage but now if we become aware of this then we may overcome or cure this disorder.
Also, we can make the choice not to pass this fatal disease to future generations.
What or which is this fatal disease?
This fatal disease is the need or hunger of validation. The urge or wish to seek validation from others for your actions and behavior.
Validation of being good, validation of doing correct and validation of being acceptable.
We urge for seeking validation for every act we do.
Whatever we do if it is validated by others then we feel happy and peaceful.
But if it is not validated by others then we become anxious and unsettled.
We mostly don’t do something which is not validated by others or if we do something that is not validated by others we stop doing it soon or later just because of this fatal disease.
For example, you may talk to a guy in your class who is not so calling “SMART“. But the people in your surrounding ignore that guy. They tease you and bully you because you talk to that guy. This makes you insecure and upset and soon or later you too stop talking to that guy because of this fatal disease of seeking acceptability and validation from others.
You were doing the right thing, a kind, and helpful behavior. But just because others stop accepting you because of this behavior, you gave up the kindness.
It is not that in every situation you will stop doing what is not validated by others but in 90% cases, you will stop doing it because of this fatal disease.
We think or have been taught that if we are validated then and only then we are a good person and acceptable in society.
Because of this many times we do things against our will just to seek validation from others.
Validation is the cause of all the insecurities and low self-esteem.
We may be good at something but just because it is not validated by others we feel that we are not good at it.
And we call this a fatal disease because it impacts our health a lot. It makes us mentally unstable, created negative thoughts in our mind and ultimately affects our physical health.
How to cure the disease of seeking validation?
Validation is caused when we think that we need to be accepted by society in order to live peacefully in this world.
You may not be accepted by others or your decisions and actions may be criticized and condemned but if you think that you are right, then keep doing it and the people around you will soon understand it.
Even if you fail to achieve your desired results at least you have experience and now you can try again with another way.
Rather than seeking validation, try to seek results, goals, and outcomes.
If you achieve what you want, you will be accepted and validated by others.
But the beauty is that in the process of working on your goal, you reach such a level of self-awareness and self-confidence that you do not care anymore about people’s acceptance and validation.
Here are some real life examples, when Apple entered into cellphone industry it was a big gamble for them, every doubted and questioned their decision but they created a revolutionary product and rest is history; when Elon Musk started Tesla and SpaceX, he was criticized too but when his companies became successful, all started praising him; when Amazon laughed AWS it’s future market scope was doubted by many but today the cloud market is one of the most in-demand markets.
By these examples and many more, all I want to convey is all good decisions and steps are doubted at the starts and criticized, it’s up to you to ignore them or change your actions because of them.
All I want to say is you should make decisions and take actions based on various factors but not on the basis of being validated or acceptable by others.
Here is a post which we wrote about “How to make the right decision?“, which may help you to get more clarity on decision making.
Try to overcome the fatal disease of seeking validation as soon as possible and you will see yourself doing more good.
Please share your views in the comments section below and we will be glad as always to hear from you.