We should work on ourselves. We should build our self-esteem; our confidence. Before knowing others, knowing the world, we should look inside and know ourselves, and based on that we should build our self-esteem.
We should have such a strong and robust self-esteem that other people’s criticism if invalid should not shake us, their opinions should not deflect us and we should be calm in that situation.
So how do you stay calm, composed, and maintain self-esteem in a tough environment?
Before we start, please keep one thing in mind; Confidence and arrogance are two totally different things. If you confuse the two, you will most certainly become a very unhappy person with very few real friends. Arrogance is NOT a “quality” and it won’t help you reach your goals any faster.
Confidence in oneself, or the lack thereof is what stops people from getting tightly focused on what they want to achieve. That little voice telling them they can’t do something is their biggest UN-motivator.
What can YOU do to gain confidence?
Here are 25 tips for boosting your confidence and self-esteem:
- Love Yourself:
This can take a bit of practice and looks really funny, but try it, it works. When you wake up, give yourself a great big hug. Do the same when it’s time for sleep.
You’ve heard this said a million times before: “How can you expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself?” It’s cliché but it’s true. Practice the morning and evening hugs for 2 weeks, maybe 3 weeks if you’re the stubborn type, and you’ll see how well it works.
- Look in the mirror:
Every time you pass a mirror, look into it and flash your biggest and best smile at yourself.
It might feel strange at first, but eventually, it’ll make you feel brilliant about yourself. Tell yourself “Looking good!” or “Wow, I love me!” or similar phrases often enough to actually start believing it.
- Do things that make you feel good:
This can be anything from listening to music, trekking, doing some volunteer work, or even just taking a shower.
Anything that gives you a positive feeling about yourself works for this one.
- Listen to YOU:
Face it. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself, no matter how many people try to tell you differently.
So, if your body, mind, or gut is telling you something, then take notice of it, and don’t worry about what other people may possibly have to say about it.
- Talk to YOU:
In times of stress, take a time-out break.
Wander into your own mind and have a conversation with yourself about anything at all. Tell yourself how lucky you are to be you, and praise yourself for every good and positive thing you can attribute to yourself.
- Remove negatives:
If anything feels like it’s dragging you down, get rid of it; if it’s clutter, tidy up; if it’s a friend full of negativity, explain nicely that you don’t really feel up to talking right now. If it’s your kids acting up, leave the room for a while, and so on.
- Surround with positives:
Surround yourself with things that bring out good feelings in you.
Examples could be things such as happy, upbeat friends, a nice new picture, a new car, an old comfy blanket, candles, pictures of your family, your girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, etc.
- Rumours Die:
Did you hear something about somebody who said something about somebody else? Drop it!
Rumors are nasty, horrible things that will only bring you down. Best way to kill a rumor? Ignore it!
I personally follow a moto to get rid of rumors. I pass any gossip or rumor through three filters/questions before even listening to it.
These 3 filters/questions are:
I would recommend reading our blog post that elaborates further on how this works and how you should use it to get rid of gossip/rumors.
- Total Honesty:
Be totally honest with yourself at all times.
If there’s something you don’t like, admit it. If there’s something you don’t want to do “right now” and it isn’t necessary for health and safety reasons then just don’t do it until you feel like it.
The same goes for the positive aspects. If there’s something you want to do, and it’s not hurting anybody, then go ahead and do it. If you start feeling great about yourself for no apparent reason admit it and enjoy the feeling.
Take full responsibility for your own actions.
Don’t shove the blame for anything over onto someone or something else.
We all make choices in our lives, and once we take responsibility for those choices, we tend to choose better for ourselves.
Once we start to choose better, we feel better and things start falling into place. On the other hand, don’t take over someone else’s responsibilities just because you feel “you have to”.
If you feel unsafe, unsure, or nervous then go inside yourself and pretend you’re a hot-shot lawyer, actor, actress, singer, or whatever you need to be.
Make believe you’re presenting yourself as that person would until you feel better. Trust me, you WILL feel better and eventually have no need to be anything but yourself.
- Keep Trying:
If you’re trying to do something but don’t get it right the first time round, then try again, and again, and again, constantly learning from your mistakes until you get it right.
When you finally DO get it right, you’ll feel wonderful about it.
- Credit where credit is due:
If you’ve done something really good, and people compliment you on it, accept the compliments with thanks!
Understand that they’re complimenting you because they really are impressed with what you’ve done.
Believe in yourself and give yourself a pat on the back. (Although physically it would probably be easier to just give yourself a round of applause).
- Stand Tall:
Standing up straight will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself than slouching does.
Stand with your feet slightly apart, suck in your tummy and behind, broaden your shoulders and straighten your neck. It’s an amazingly quick confidence boost.
- Say Hello:
Make it a rule to say hi, hello, or greet in some other way to at least one person you don’t know EVERY day.
Give them the smile you flash at yourself in the mirror, the biggest and the best one you can find. They’ll smile back automatically, and they’ll walk away with a little extra confidence boost thanks to you.
People look their best when they smile, and they also feel better by smiling too! This ultimately means you get a confidence boost too, for making someone else feel good about themselves.
- Never Say Never…Ever:
If you think something can’t be done, then you’ll end up proving yourself right eventually. So never say never, just keep plugging along until it works for you.
If other people are telling you, it can’t be done, you’re going to feel such immense satisfaction at actually doing it that your confidence will soar.
- Get Active:
Don’t sit around the house just doing nothing. Get active.
Get up, go out, cycle, walk, exercise, anything that might invigorate your brain. A lively brain full of thoughts will help you gain confidence.
- “Happy Foods”:
Happy foods, such as chocolate, strawberries, lemons, ice cream, etc will increase the serotonin levels in your brain, leading to an increased feeling of happiness.
Feeling happy is a natural confidence boost. So go on, enjoy your food! (In moderation, of course).
- Face Your Fear:
Is there something you are afraid of? Face it full on.
Doing something scary and overcoming the fear is a fantastic way to boost your confidence.
So go on, jump out of that plane (with a parachute of course), drive that car, speak in front of a large crowd, ask for a promotion, or whatever it is that scares you.
You’ll feel absolutely brilliant once it’s done.
Create a goal that you really want to reach. Possibly something like weight loss before a certain time, giving up smoking or having a certain amount of money in the bank within so many months, etc.
Take baby steps, and use your willpower until you succeed at reaching your goal.
It will be really hard, as willpower can be very elusive at times, but keep going and don’t give up.
Once you have reached that first goal by using your willpower you will have the confidence to create new goals AND reach them.
- Ask questions:
Any time you find yourself worrying about something you haven’t done or something you think you should have done, ask yourself positive questions.
Instead of thinking “I’m terrible for missing my friend’s birthday” think “What can I do to make my friend feel special?”
Or, instead of “Why can’t I ever seem to do things on time?” change it to “What can I change to better manage my time”.
Replacing negative criticism toward yourself with positive actionable questions will change your attitude towards that situation and there will be positive energy all around.
Creating positive questions will release the negative energies which have a tendency to pull down your self-confidence.
Accept that not everything works out the way we plan it. Decide to accept any mistakes and rejections as part of a learning curve that we all need to go through.
Without mistakes, you can’t learn from your own experiences. Remember, experience builds confidence, so always learn as much as you can.
Write a list of every single thing you’re good at, anything from clipping the dog’s toenails to putting up a shelf.
Take the time to sit and actually think about what you ARE good at and add them all to the list. You’ll be surprised at how many things you end up jotting down, no matter how minor or trivial they may seem at the time.
Whenever you have a spare 5 minutes, or if you’re feeling a little low, take the list out of your pocket and read it. This is a great little way to give yourself a nice confidence boost.
- Help out:
There are lots of ways to help others, and feeling useful and helpful are great ways of building your confidence. Just make sure you do things because you WANT to do them.
You could call a good friend who may be down at the moment-even take them out for coffee, you will brighten both your days or you could possibly help out at an old folk’s home or similar.
Knowing that people appreciate your help will boost your confidence for sure.
- Show the way:
Think of the one thing you do best of all. Think long and hard about this one. Thought of something?
Now, find a discussion group or similar related to that topic and spread your wisdom by answering questions, and offering advice or help to anybody needing it. If you can’t find a group, you could even start one yourself.
People will look up to you and that will give you all the more reason to feel confident about yourself.
We sincerely hope that these 25 tips help you in boosting your confidence and self-esteem.
Do practice them, follow them and share your experience with us in the comments section.