Yes, you should stop apologizing.
Before you start thinking about it and judge or declare this statement as silly or incorrect, I would request you to first read this whole post attentively, understand what I want to portray here and then you can share your view in the comments section.
Our parents, our family members, other relatives and all the people that ever tried to teach us anything must have surely taught us at least once that we should say “SORRY” for mistakes that we commit.
Apologizing is seen as a sign of good manners by our society.
But is it really good? Is it really beneficial?
Why do we apologize?
We apologize for everything.
When we are late we apologize, when we fail we apologize, when we commit some mistake we apologize and sometimes just for the ending an argument we apologize even if may not be wrong.
Also, we apologize to everyone.
We apologize to our parents, to our friends, to our siblings, relatives, and known-unknown people everyone.
So, you must have understood that we really do need any specific reason or person for apologizing. We can apologize for anything and to anyone.
Why not apologize?
When we apologize it showcase that we are sorry for some of our action.
Where the action may have been a result of many other factors and actions.
Apologizing do nothing good to us rather it gives rise to self-blaming and lowers our self-esteem.
For example, you arrived late at the desired place where you were going to meet a person. You apologized for being late to the person who was waiting for you.
Seems normal right. But let’s analyze what happened when you apologized to the person who was waiting.
When you apologized to the person who was waiting, he/she either may say “It’s OK” or he/she may try to make you realize the importance of his/her time and that will make you feel nothing but worse.
Also even if he/she says “It’s OK”, it will not be “OK” for you as you will scold, be angry on yourself for being late.
This also makes you feel like a culprit for making the meeting
All this resulted in a bad and negative situation for you.
Where in reality you left on time from home and due to traffic (which is an external factor that you cannot control) or due to some accident (which is again an external factor that you cannot control) you were late to reach the desired place.
So you see how apologizing made it worse for you.
You started self-blaming, your self-esteem was
I am not saying that apologizing is bad but when there is a good alternative to it then why not try it.
What to do if not to apologize?
Now, this is a very important part of this post, so be attentive.
Don’t apologize rather praise or show gratitude towards other people.
Confused? Let’s understand it through the same example that we mentioned above.
So in the example mentioned above, you reached late at some desired place where you were planned to meet a person.
We have already discussed above what are the consequences of apologizing for being late.
So let’s see what another alternative we can apply here.
You arrived late at the desired place and you said: “Thank you for your patience..!”
Magic. No blaming, no guilt, no stress in the situation anymore.
The other person becomes generous as you thanked him/her for his/her patience and he/she is no longer filled with the anger of waiting.
You both have a great meeting and you day have no bad impact as compared to the previous situation.
See, how praising or showing gratitude to others rather than apologizing for your own mistake is changing the same situation into a better one.
This is a simple yet powerful law of life.
“When we stop focusing on the bad and start focusing on the good life starts changing.”
When we stop apologizing for our mistakes (made knowingly or unknowingly) and start praising or showing gratitude to others for their patience or support, changes the whole situation.
We should stop focusing on the bad that happened but rather focus on the good that is done by others.
We should not apologize for failing rather thank our family for believing in us and try again.
We should not apologize for being irresponsible rather we should thank them for being responsible for our part also and promise to be responsible henceforth.
This will change our belief about ourselves.
When we apologize, we blame ourselves for committing a mistake and when we thank others for their patience and support, we look at the positive side and try not to commit the same mistake again.
Also, this makes the other person feel appreciated and their own mindset and temperament about the situation and your changes.
These days finding someone who appreciates others for small generous acts is quite difficult and when you do it for someone, it is bliss for them.
Also, sometimes we do need to apologize for something.
For example, you went to someone’s house and mistakenly you broke a vase. In this situation, you do need to apologize as saying thanks for buying the vase. That would do more bad to you than good.
Jokes apart but I think you do have the point.
The only point of this post is to let us know that when you can replace apologizing with appreciation and get unexpected results.
I hope that as I mentioned at the start of the post that read this post attentively and you will understand what exactly I mean to say by “Stop Apologizing..!!” was fairly justified by me.
Please do practice this and I hope it brings positivity and goodness in your life.
Share your thoughts and view in the comments section and I will be really glad as always to hear from you.