Everything that happens to us happens on purpose. And sometimes, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, treat them as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self-improvement and success.
Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings.
Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self-improvement and building self-esteem.
We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc.
But life need not be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.
We should work on ourselves. We should build our self-esteem. Before knowing others, knowing the world, we should look inside and know ourselves and based on that we should build our self-esteem.
We should have such a strong and robust self-esteem that other people’s criticism if invalid should not shake us, their opinions should not deflect us and we should be calm in that situation.
So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self-esteem in a tough environment?
Here are some tips you may consider as a starter guide to self-improvement.
Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self-esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you.
So which dart pins should you avoid?
Dart Pin #1: Negative Work Environment
Beware of the “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self-esteem.
Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.
Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behaviour
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronisers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self-esteem, as well as to your self-improvement scheme.
Dart Pin #3 on your self-esteem: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brownfield. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for a while, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve ourselves. The change will be there forever; we must be susceptible to it.
Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.
Dart Pin #5 on your self-esteem: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self-esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of the worst situations.
Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioural traits are said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure; it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experiences, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice.
Building self-esteem and drawing lines for self-improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self-esteem and improve yourself.”
In life, it’s hard to stay tough especially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battlefield, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armours to use, and pick those that are bulletproof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options.
Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing bulletproof armour ideally means ‘self-change’.
The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armour or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behaviour and our way of thinking.
Building self-esteem will eventually lead to self-improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. It’s like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out.
When we develop self-esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self-esteem brings about self-improvement, true assessment, and determination.
So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self-esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self-esteem, your starter guide to self-improvement.